Guess who has a new home for her postings?!?!?!?!?! MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE come check it out! Its still under construction, but im posting there atleast! Love you all and cant wait to see you all!!!

www.trinitystunnel.com "rant" is where im posting. The rest of the site is still to come. But i'll get there!

Love you all!!!

Trin, HD, Me

Lifes a bitch....

Sometimes in life, we get dealt a pretty good hand. We have wonderful children who are always well behaved, and on the honor roll. We have a wonderfully devoted husband who brings you flowers almost every night and fixes you bubble baths on Sundays to wash away your week. We have the perfect job that we have always wanted and dreamed about. A boss that is helpful and understanding, that wants to help you achieve your best. We have a cat that never misses the box and snuggles you when you are exhausted. And a dog that never chews anything up and doesn’t bark at night unless there is someone breaking in to your house!

Then you wake up to reality and realize that your kindergartener is beating up 4^th grade boys, you 3^rd grader is on the honor roll and does wonderfully in school, but has no friends and is a loner. Your husband falls through the door dog ass tired from working 13 hours a day and driving for 3 more. He kisses you on the cheek as he asks what’s for dinner. Your job is non existant or you at least wish it were due to the fact that your boss is the biggest prick that could possibly be made and would love nothing more than to see you fall on your face. Your cat sprays everything in sight and claws at the furniture. Your dog has chewed everything in sight and barks non stop at his own shadow!

Doesn’t this sound more like your life than the first option? Mine sure does. At least in parts. I have also found tho, that you have to make a good hand out of the crap you were dealt. You get 2 out of 5 over here and another 3 over there by sheer luck and voila’, you have a full house! I hate the saying… “make lemonade from lemons”! But isn’t it the truth? Sometimes you can really find happiness in all the chaos and confusion going on in your life. There have been times, where I wonder what exactly I am supposed to do with such a hand life has dealt to me. Then as I see how all the cards are falling, that maybe the “crappy” hand really isn’t crap.

Yeah, some have me beat in the game of life on the hand they were dealt, but mine is nothing to balk at! I have wonderful children who love me more than anything. They come and talk to me about their problems, boys, friends, teachers and good things that happen to them. My husband has his flaws, but fortunately for me, god made me just the way I need to be to tolerate and help us through the bad times. My cat lives outside where he should be, and is shared by all the neighbors. At least he sleeps on the porch tho so he feels like ours! The dog… well…. He ran away due to the lousy land lord that we were oh so lucky to get! But I know where he is and I know that it’s a good house and when I am ready, (like fixing the fence so he wont run off) I know these are good people that will give him back to me. For now tho, he is safe from running out in the street and getting killed.

So next time, before you jump to conclusions on other people hands in life, you might consider that maybe… just maybe… their hands aren’t so bad. It may not be the best hand you think it should be, but its what they got dealt and they are at least trying to make the best out of it. Once upon a time someone very dear to me told me “god wont give you ANYTHING he doesn’t think you can handle”. Sometimes tho, I wonder why is it that god trusts me so very much? I wish every now and then, that he didn’t have quite so much faith in me. I know that may seem to be a terrible thing to say, but have you ever wished that at some point in your life, you had been given something just a bit easier? Something that isn’t so life changing and traumatic? After all, god has the faith in you to make it through and know you will come out of it all the better.

Sometimes I find myself in a position that I sure do wish I could have been dealt someone else’s hand. It sure does look easier than mine. Seems all others have to bicker about is when husband will be home at night or what they are going to have for dinner. They seem to be dealt so much less than I ever have been. I wonder what is it about me that attract such obstacles that I have and have had in my life and these people get so little. Some people seem to just be able to coast through life with a few bumps along the way and it infuriates me that these are the same people that are so fast to jump up and point out all the pit falls in my life. To point and poke at the obstacles that I have to over come, and try to put me down for what god himself has given me. No, I may not have chosen it had he given me that option, but here I am, holding my head high and working on what he has laid before me.

The next time you feel the need to jump up and point out someone else’s pit falls, and try to tell people that they don’t have to deal with that… that there is an easier way to be… that you don’t HAVE to deal with the problems in your life to make your family better… before you do that next time, remember that not everything in life is so cut and dry. That god has laid things before these people to make them into what HE wants. Not what you want their life to be. Let the strong lead and don’t put them down for the size cross they have to bear. Yours may fit around your neck for Sunday morning mass… but they bear theirs on their back to make their life a better place. And to follow a road that god alone knows they can make it through.

“If you don’t keep your chin up… you never see the word around you!”

Till next time…

HD, Trinity, ME!

I know… I haven’t written in a while… AGAIN…. I know.. I know. Turmoil seems to be the name of the game in my life right about now. Issues with myself, my family, my marriage, my kids… did I leave anything out? Oh yeah!!! I hate being broke as a joke!!! HAHAHA!!!

Today is the day my in-laws leave Texas. They have decided to pack up and move to Florida with my sister in law. I haven’t written about this up till now because I know that they read it. I don’t want anyone to feel like I DON’T want them to do what is best for them. And I know that I can write this and them not read it till they get to Florida. I know this move will be a good thing. They are in a position in their lives that they really need a good adventure. They have no kids at home to worry about, so why shouldn’t they up and take an adventure? I think we all wish that we could do that sometimes. Just be able to go where a whim takes us for a while and see who we truly are on the inside, wouldn’t that be wonderful?

Ok… now that I have said how wonderful it is for them… let me just say, I think that it REALLY sucks for me. I don’t have the typical “in-law” relationship with these people. There have been times over the last 10 years where they have been the only parent that I have known. They have stood beside me and helped me in any way possible. Now I don’t mean just when finances get hard… cause all parents o that from time to time for their kids. My in-laws have stood beside me and defended me to my very own family. When my mom is in one of her stupors, they have been there to help me through it. To tell me that she will get past it and everything will work out. Even when it doesn’t work out, they have been there to try and support me in the decisions that I have made. These are the same people that welcome my family into their home and are happy to talk to them and be social with them. Even after knowing what they have done to me and what has gone on, they have been there to help me make peace. At least inside myself.

Now I realize that most people don’t have a relationship with their in-laws like I do. Its more of a “we get together on holidays and birthdays and talk on the phone” type of relationship. But I have sat for hours on end with my mother in law, just playing games and cutting up. Having a good time. I go horse back ridding with my father in law. Just the two of us. Enjoying being out what we are doing. I can sit around with these people and have a beer and “shoot the shit” about anything. I truly love my in laws more than most, I have to say. Not that we don’t have our issues, but who doesn’t have issues with their parents or family? It doesn’t mean we don’t love them.

Now as you all know, I have children as well. It hurts to know that they will be so far away from their grandchildren. To also know that they are the only grandparents that my kids really have a relationship with. Now don’t misunderstand, they know all of their grandparents, But my in laws are far and beyond the most involved in their lives. Any time that my husband and I have quality time for just the 2 of us, its thanks to them. They have been there to give us a break from the kid race and to just be able to enjoy each other for a few hours or a night. I cant tell you how valuable those things are for us. Its not just anyone who can take on 5 kids all at the same time. Ages 14 months to nearly 9.

I truly respect these people for everything that they have done for me, done with me and are to me. I love them more than most people in my life right now and am heart broken on a purely selfish reason to see them go. I wish them the best of luck and send my love out to them along their journey.

Trinity, HD, Me

Ok… so recently I have had a discussion with several people about my web page and some of my readers. It seems that I should take this opportunity and give a small lesson on how to use it and what every thing here is all about.

For those of you that are “blog” literate, you should ignore this post and come back tomorrow. We are going to have an internet lesson on how to use my web page.

First of all, over to the left there are several “links” to other peoples web pages that you can simply click on and it will take you to their page. There is also a “link” that you can click on that will allow you to sign my guest book that is under “Things to Do“. Here is how you use it… go over and click on “sign my guest book”. It will take you to my guest book and you can read everyone that has already signed. At the top of the page, you can click on the little button that says “post” and you will be asked a series of questions. You don’t have to fill all of the out but just the ones that you choose to. When you are done, at the bottom of the page there is another button that you “click” on to “post” the entry. When you click on that, you are taken back to my “guestbook” and you can see what you have entered. Now… from there you can click “back” at the very top of your internet browser to get back to my web page. It may take you several times of clicking back to get to the page. Once you have done that you can choose what next to do.

Back on my web page there is also a “tag board” that you can sign. In order to do this, simply look to the left of the screen again and go down a little to where it says “name” and type in your name. It also says “url/email” and that spot is optional. You don’t have to have a URL or and email filled in there. Under that option is a small block that you click in and can type your message there. When you have finished your comment, simply click on “post tag” and you have officially “tagged” by board.

Now, if this public display option isn’t to your liking, then there are other options on my web page as well. At the end of each entry I make there are 2 options at the very bottom. It says how many marks have been left and an option to “leave your mark”. by clicking on either option it will take you to the right spot. What will happen when you click on one is the web page will “reopen” and if you scroll down to the bottom you can read what comments have been left there and at the very bottom of all the comments there is an opportunity for you to again leave your name and comments like on the tag board. Again tho, its not mandatory that you leave a URL/email address there. Its totally up to you.

Now that we have stepped through on the 3 ways to let me know you were here, there are other things on my web page that you should be aware of and know how to use. Again, on the left side of the screen, directly under my opening statement there are 3 options… “main”, “profile” and “archive”. By clicking on “profile” it will take you to the profile I have set up on my web page. You can read all the facts about me there. When you are done reading that the “main” option will take you back to the main page. Infact, the “main” option will always take you back to the main web page. If you have posted a comment or anything, you can simply “click” on “main” and it will take you back to the main web page. Now, when you click on archive, it will take you to a yearly calendar and towards the bottom of the calendar, you will see the dates that I have an entry and can choose from any of those dates to read any of the things that I have written about. This is a very helpful option for those of you that haven’t read them all and especially missed the first few that tell you what this is all about to me. Simply click on any of the dates on the calendar that are an shown as posting dates and you can read the entry. Again, when you are done with this you can click on the “main” option again and it will simply take you back to the main web page.

I hope all this is helpful, and if there is anything that you still don’t understand, please feel free to email me and I will explain it to you. I don’t mind and there are no stupid questions! I want everyone to know how to use my web page and feel comfortable in whatever option you use to let me know you were here and that you read what I write! I love you all and hope this helps you all out!

Till next time…

Trinity, HD, me!

Ok all you little 3 year olds out there!!! I have a bone to pick with you. Hee hee!!! Ok so not really with you, but definitely about you. I have 3 daughters that have all hit 3 and made it through alive. How they made it through alive I’m still not really sure how. How is it that at 3, you think that you own the world?

I have stopped to notice that its not just little girls that act this way either. My little nephew was very lucky to make it past 3 himself. It seems to me that at 3, you are the center of the universe as far as you are concerned. Noting more exists other then the needs of a 3 year old. They want what they want and they want it NOW!!!

I think it’s a very pivotal moment as a parent. You either deicide right then if you are going to cater to their every wish, or you decide that you are the boss in the house and you deal with the hissy fits for a year and come out knowing that you can find the patience to compromise with a 3 year old. Now I know that sounds silly, to compromise with a 3 year old. But have you ever attempted to do just that? It’s a fight in itself to find a compromise that you can live with and still makes the 3 year old happy. There are times where you have to accept the inevitable and realize that there is going to be a fit. That little 3 year old is going to scream bloody murder and hate you for an hour. You are the parent and have to learn to live with it. After all, of course she/he cant have ice-cream for breakfast or in the middle of the night!!!

Unfortunately, its not all so cut and dry like things like that. They want to go play when and where they want right then. They demand every thing that they want and tell you so. They are convinced that they are the most beautiful and perfect little child in the world and are sure to tell you just that.

I have finally figured out why older generations always say “god love em” when they see them in passing. I finally know what that means. It means “god love em” they are alive and haven’t been strangled by their parents in all the demands and hissy fits that they have survived! I also recently read a prayer that I think is so true. It was directed at husbands, but I think it applies to more then just a spouse.

“God grant me patience, serenity, and understanding because if I pray for strength, I might just beat him to death!”

Now we all now we really wouldn’t, but it sure would be tempting if we had god’s strength! HAHAHA!

Till next time… remember to breath. This to shall pass………. Eventually!

Today has been an interesting day. Have you ever gone into a situation fully expecting for there to be some sort of finalization, conclusion, defined outcome ANYTHING other than more questions than answers? I fond myself in that situation more often then not. As you have all read, I get myself into some strange situations. Tho most of the time, there is an outcome of some sort that I can live with. Yeah well… I know eventually it will be settled, but in the mean time, I sure hate the out come of uncertainty when there were supposed to be answers!

Today is Saint Patty’s day so I hope all you potato farmers have your green on in celebration! I sure do!   Tho I’m not very Irish, I have a little in me. Drink your green beer and Irish whisky but don’t forget to NOT follow the little leprechaun down the drain at the end of the night!  Kiss someone that looks like they need it! Its one of the few days you can use the terrible pick up line of “kiss me baby, I’m Irish!” PUKE!!! Ok.. Bad pick up line, but its still the only day you have a chance of getting away with it. At the very least, you might get a smile rather then a slap!

Today is also a very good friend of mines Birthday.   He is currently on vacation seeing his family that he is none to please to be seeing. But who knows, he might make the best of it after all! Either way, I want to wish him a very happy Birthday and hope that his birthday wish comes true! I also hope that he makes it home safe and sound without strangling any of his family. HAHAHAHA! You know I love you hun… hee hee!

I am glad to let everyone know that my little girl took my advice and is having a much better time at school. Even tho they still pick on her… it seems to have eased up a lot since they cant get her upset like normal! She was so happy to come in and tell me how upset it made them for her to do that to them. They told on her to the teacher and the teacher told them… “she wasn’t ugly to you by saying that. So leave her alone” Gotta love a good teacher that understands those type of things!

I went and looked a new cars today just for the hell of it. Yikes, my credit sucks!!! I knew it did before I even went in, but had no idea of how bad it was! Kinda scary sometimes! So is the life of me. HAHAHA!

I recently found out something about another good friend of mine. I have written about Chris several times and am fixing to again. He brought up a subject that seems to have hit a nerve with me. He lives at home right now till he can move home to Utah but his niece was living there to. She went home over the spring break holiday to see her mom and family and they decided for her to stay there. Now, this is a good thing for everyone in the situation. But what sucks so much about it is that Chris never got a chance to tell her bye other then on the phone. He missed getting to say a proper good bye to his niece and now she is gone to Utah.

This hit’s a nerve with me because how many times in our life do we just call someone up and tell them see ya later on, and never really see them again? How many missed opportunities have we gone through in our lives where we had the chance to really tell someone what we wanted to say or what we meant and just let the moment pass us by. We do this thinking “no biggie, I will tell them next time”.

I think back to my grandfathers death and how traumatic it was for me. The last time I saw him alive I would have never thought would be the last time I ever saw him! Then when my great grand father died, it was very sudden. No one really got a chance to say a proper good bye. Very hard on a child.

Not only the traumatic times in life tho, think about all the friends that have come into our lives. One day, they just seem to be gone. Did we ever tell them what we really thought about them? How we really feel about their friendship while it lasted? I know I have missed it a couple of times and I’m sure that I will miss that golden opportunity another time or two as well. How is it that we are supposed to know that it will be the last time? We don’t. that’s the point. Why cant there be some sort of cosmic force that lets us into its little secret and at least give us a heads up. Maybe its us, that fails to notice the nudge at the right moment and lets it pass. Who knows? Not I said the fly.

Till next time…

HD, Trinity, Me!